Should I just simply make it clear to him by sending him an email that we actually have nothing in common and that I am not his friend?Or just continue to do my own stuff and not making any contacts to him?Signed, Darren ANSWER Hi Darren, It’s hard to make the transition from dating someone to being “just friends”---especially when one person wants more from the relationship than the other.
When your friend turned down your request to fly back from NY together, he clearly signaled he wanted to make a clean break.
I’m sure it was difficult for you to accept that he no longer valued even the remaining vestiges of your friendship.
My guess is that he didn’t want to embarrass you, himself, or others at the social event---either by ignoring you or going into the details of your prior relationship.
Irene, I really cared a lot about someone whom I dated.
After the end of our dating relationship three years ago, I was devastated. For the last two years, I was doing all of the hard work and effort to maintain this friendship.
Last year, when I was planning to go to visit another good friend in New York, he happened to be going there at the same time. When he told me he really preferred to fly by himself, it felt like a slap in the face because of all the effort I had put into this friendship.
So I walked away and hadn’t talked to him for a year.
Last week, I bumped into him unexpectedly on evening at a social event when I was spending time with my close friends. I extended my hand to shake his, however he transgressed my boundaries by hugging me.
I was being nice and respectful even though I did not really like him anymore.
He introduced me to his new boyfriend as his friend.
I wanted to tell him face to face that we were not friends at all any more but decided to save him this embarrassment in front of his new boyfriend.