For a fulltime custodial parent, spending an evening out takes time, effort and money so there is pressure for the experience to be worth the investment.
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The variety of people and experiences takes the pressure off any one date.
When I was dating a new person once every couple months, expectations were higher – and often not met.
But now, if Tuesday’s date doesn’t go well, I have another on Wednesday, so it’s not a big deal.
My last post was a bit of a downer about all the awkward situations I have found myself in recently on dates.
I’m happy to report that since writing that post I have taken stock of my situation and decided to dedicate this summer 2016 to one goal: to conquer my fear of dating. I just want to learn to feel confident, to recognize the good things I have to offer a potential date, and to relax and enjoy what should be a fun and freeing activity.
To usher in the new era, a friend took me on a shopping spree to buy new clothes, makeup and perfume.
Now, those of you who know me are probably thinking “whaaaaat?? But it’s not really about needing makeup or fancy perfume to feel beautiful.
It is more a symbolic gesture, something to take me out of my comfort zone and create a sense of novelty.
Since I’m trying to build confidence, it’s helpful to wear something new that reminds me to separate these experiences from the ones before.
I also made the big decision to allow my daughter to spend the summer with her father.
Normally I wouldn’t want to be separated from her for so long, but I recognized that part of my anxiety around dating had to do with the difficulty of dating as a single parent.