I've said it before and I'll say it again: The fact that Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake did not end up together makes it difficult for me to believe in the institution of marriage at all. The fact that Mary Kay Letourneau and her former student (whom she started very illegally dating in 1996, resulting in jail time) are still together and happily married today, 18 years later. Then, there are Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom, who famously got married just one month after they met in 2009.They were married for four years, which is 48 times longer than they knew each other before committing (and longer than many other couples who dated for "normal" amounts of time before getting engaged). Well, recently a friend of mine had that exact sort of giddy smile you get about one month into a new relationship.
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Here's the thing—you can know a person for years before you get engaged, be happily married for years after that, and then something bad can happen.
It happened to many couples I know—couples who played by all the rules and waited "appropriate" amounts of time before committing. Down the road, someone still might cheat, or fall out of love, or want totally different things.
know that you're absolutely, positively crazy about someone, faults and all.
Oh, and you can know what those faults are and enter into a marriage with open eyes about who you're really marrying. Here are some things that I think should happen before you decide to get engaged, regardless of how long it's been: I tend to think that achieving all of those things usually takes six months (at the least).
And you can discuss your values, and goals, and hopes and dreams, and both have the intention to stick things out if you run into trouble (which, in my opinion, is what marriage is all about vs. That said, is a month too soon to decide to commit to someone for life? Even well into your thirties—when people are more self-aware than they were in their twenties and know what they want—and into your forties—when having kids starts to feel a bit more urgent—you can still afford to wait six months.
I asked my boyfriend to give me the guy's perspective on this, and he said he thinks six months should be the standard minimum too.
Note: This question was in no way as awkward as when my mom decided to share "a great baby name" she thought of with us only three months into the relationship.
Q: I met this guy about 5 months ago and we agreed that we were both not ready for a relationship (him just getting out of a serious relationship and me not ready for one at all).
So we began having casual sex, but that stopped when he got back together with his ex.