("Oh, he lives in Queens" or "She prefers After all, chances are many of your exes didn’t share your exact tastes, and nine times out of 10, it isn’t why you two broke up.If you obsess about the little things (this guy shares my passion for both dim sum and Noah Baumbach flicks!) you are likely to pass over the profiles of people who might actually make you happy.
You want to try and get a sense of what the person is like, which can be truly difficult.
It’s a challenge as a novelist to convey characters in meaningful ways — it’s no less demanding for a person writing, or reading, dating profiles.
It’s key to read between the lines to get a sense of whether the person seems well-adjusted — pleasant, friendly and reasonable, someone you would be drawn to if you met him or her in person, even if you didn’t know her top five favorite movies.
So, you’d like to meet someone and have decided to go online.
That’s a good move — proactive and forward-thinking.
But be careful not to be lulled into habits that will undermine your online dating experience.
Here are some tips to keep in mind as you peruse the seemingly endless stream of profiles from prospective partners.
On the Internet, it's easy to feel nitpicky and maintain high expectations.
With apps like Tinder, you snap-judge users as if you were scrolling Amazon for the best pair of speakers. If what you want is a real connection — a relationship with a person you hope to love and who will love you — you will have to bring your most mature and empathetic self to the project.
This sense of being in the driver’s seat, of choosing, can be appealing. That means not saying, “Eh, she’s cute — but I prefer brunettes to blondes. ” You’d never behave this way in person, so don’t do it online.
Don’t worry too much about the particulars: which restaurants, bars, movies or books a potential date likes.